1. Kevin Keegan invents Bubble Perm Pop.
2. Terry Venables sends the audience into rapture.
3. Andrey Arshavin, looking even more like a 12-year-old than usual.
4. Clint Dempsey – or should we say Deuce?
5. Hoddle ‘n’ Waddle , not taking themselves seriously at all.
6. Waddle again, with Basil Boli dressed as a Beefeater. Of course.
7. John Barnes. Obviously.
8. Andy Cole. Less obviously.
9. Hoddle again, murdering the Beatles.
10. Not even Pet Shop Boy Chris Lowe can save Ian Wright
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