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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Ten Best Descriptions of Samuel T Herring from Future Islands I've Seen Online

Ten brilliant comments about Future Island's lead singer following their 'captivating' David Letterman appearance

1. New Order fronted by Pere Ubu's David Thomas
2. Marlon Brando method acting Jimmy Sommerville
3. Jack Black on mushrooms
4. Henry Rollins at Wigan Casino
5. (Everton manager) Roberto Martinez at the end of season disco
6. Shaun "Barry from EastEnders" Williamson having eaten Ian Curtis
7. Fozzie Bear fronting a Killers tribute band
8. Like 'Gangnam Style' for Pitchfork readers
9. A cross between Morrissey and Steve Pemberton (of the League of Gentleman)
10. "My old maths teacher"

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Ten Places Near Tiverton, Devon That Sound Like They're From The Hobbit

1. Jampot Cottage
2. Uplowman
3. Pixiewell Copse
4. Meredown Coverts
5. Holcombe Rogus
6. Pockeridge Copse
7. Dandyland Wood
8. Crazelowman
9. Puzzlecombe Copse
10. Breakback Wood ("God bless you Mr Frodo")

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Ten Brilliant Titles by Baudelaire

1. Get Drunk!
2. A Hemisphere in a Head of Hair
3. The Soup and the Clouds
4. Loss of a Halo
5. Anywhere Out of the World
6. Which is the True One?
7. The Generous Gamester
8. Counterfeit Money
9. Flowers of Evil
10. Let's Beat Up the Poor

Monday, January 28, 2013

Ten Films My Wife Think Are In My Top Ten But Which Aren't (Actually)

1. Cocoon
2. The Hurt Locker
3. Waterworld
4. Star Wars
5. In Bed With Madonna
6. Elf
7. Dances With Wolves
8. Tango & Cash
9. Turner & Hooch
10. Wimbledon

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Ten Shipwrecks Near Sandwich in Kent

1. The Russia 1889
2. The Gemini 1891
3. The St Dominic 1743
4. HMS Rooke 1916
5. The Charles Carter 1811
6. The Countess 1918
7. The Ann Lyon 1623
8. The Olympia 1918
9. The Dasher 1811
10. The Sandwich 1757

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

The Ten Most Impressive Touchline Performances

1. Nagoya Grampus Eight Coach Dragan Stojkovic scores the ‘goal of his life’ from the technical area – and gets sent off for his efforts.

2. The Special One introduces himself to Old Trafford.

3. Dedication’s what you need if you wanna be a Premier League linesman.

4. Phil Brown takes centre stage for a change after Hull avoid relegation.

5. Norwich fans look away know… ’Where are you?’.

6. Arsene Wenger finds some new friends.

7. Cloughie mistakes fans for Roy Keane.

8. Rafa’s perfect 6.0.

9. Fan vs linesman.

10. Entire end vs linesman, AKA You’ll Never Walk Alone.

Ten Footballers Who Think They Can Sing

1. Kevin Keegan invents Bubble Perm Pop.

2. Terry Venables sends the audience into rapture.

3. Andrey Arshavin, looking even more like a 12-year-old than usual.

4. Clint Dempsey – or should we say Deuce?

5. Hoddle ‘n’ Waddle , not taking themselves seriously at all.

6. Waddle again, with Basil Boli dressed as a Beefeater. Of course.

7. John Barnes. Obviously.

8. Andy Cole. Less obviously.

9. Hoddle again, murdering the Beatles.

10. Not even Pet Shop Boy Chris Lowe can save Ian Wright